The Day I Chose Recovery

It wasn’t a dramatic moment of change. I can’t point to a single “day one.” Recovery wasn’t one big decision—it was something I had to choose every single day.

For years, I lived in fear of food. I avoided anything I thought was “bad,” and the stricter I was, the more it backfired. Restriction would always lead to binge eating, and then the guilt would hit like a wave. I felt stuck in a cycle I couldn’t break: restrict, binge, feel ashamed, and try to “fix” it by eating less or working out more.

Without proper support and resources, in India, and without any intervention, that cycle spiraled into bulimia. I felt out of control, trying to compensate for the binges in ways that only made things worse. It wasn’t just my body that was hurting—it was my mind too. That’s why I made it my mission to create the help I couldn’t find.

For Years, My Life Was Just About Food and Body

For years, I battled with food, weight, and self-worth. I was stuck in an exhausting loop of trying to eat less, train more, and still feel like I wasn’t enough. This cycle wasn’t just emotionally draining—it impacted every area of my life.

• Physical health: Hormonal imbalances, low energy, bloating, poor gut health, and acne were constant struggles.

• Mental health: Anxiety and guilt consumed me. I cried myself to sleep every night, had no life outside food and body, and felt like an alien, completely isolated.

• Relationships: It’s important to take time to focus on yourself while recovering, but I hid myself and pretended to be okay because there wasn’t enough support. The loneliness and inability to connect made me feel even more lost.

• Work and productivity: My anxiety drove me to overachieve, but I felt stupid, incapable, and full of self-doubt.

The numbers don’t lie:

• 95% of diets fail long-term, leaving people feeling defeated and worse than before.

• Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental health issue, a stark reminder of what happens when these struggles are left unresolved.

Through it all, there wasn’t a single day I lost hope. That small spark of hope kept me going and eventually became the foundation of my recovery.

I trust my intuition and believe in letting go of what doesn’t help me. Over time, I tried different things—intuitive eating, slowing down, Pilates—and made sure to stay away from negativity. I’ve always wanted meaning in my life, beyond just food and body, and that purpose was really important. With each step, I found what worked and learned the mindset I needed to make it last.

What Was at Stake?

Physical consequences: Chronic stress can lead to kidney problems, poor gut health, skin issues, constant bloating, and weight fluctuations, leaving you feeling physically drained and uncomfortable.

Emotional toll: The constant battle with food and body image fuels self-doubt, anxiety, and guilt. Weight gain and fluctuations can make you feel like you’re always falling short, robbing you of confidence and peace of mind.

Loss of time and energy: Obsessing over food, exercise, and appearance consumes your mental and emotional energy, stealing your focus from things that truly matter—like relationships, personal growth, and enjoying life.

This struggle silently takes away your joy, leaving you stuck in a cycle that feels impossible to break.

What to Focus on Today to Change How You See Food

Redefine What Health Means

Health isn’t just about weight loss—it’s about feeling alive, emotionally steady, and mentally clear. Think about how you want to feel, and let that guide your choices.

Set Small, Intentional Goals

Start with one small change, like practicing mindful eating or trying a new food that feels nourishing. Small wins build momentum.

Surround Yourself with Support

Recovery is a journey, and you don’t have to walk it alone. Reach out to those who understand or seek professional guidance.

How Emotional and Physical Deprivation Leads to Binge Eating

Binge eating often arises from both emotional and physical deficiencies. When we restrict food, our body lacks energy, triggering cravings, and leading to overeating. Emotionally, deprivation creates a sense of scarcity, making food feel like the only source of comfort. The cycle continues: the more we restrict, the stronger the cravings. The solution is consistent nourishment—eating enough to satisfy both emotional and physical needs, breaking the cycle of restriction and bingeing( this will take time to build).

Intuitive Eating – Listening to Your Body, Not the Rules

Intuitive eating isn’t about sitting in front of the TV and not even noticing how much you’ve eaten. It’s tough, and that’s why not everyone has a healthy relationship with food. But when I started practicing it, I noticed big changes. For example, I realized dairy & different foods didn’t sit well with me, so I made the choice to try veganism. Intuitive eating helped me figure out what works for my body and what doesn’t. You can start making those same choices for yourself, too, by really listening to your body and how different foods make you feel.

Pilates – Healing Through Movement

I found Pilates while trying to heal my relationship with my body, and it became so much more than just exercise. The slow and gentle movements are calming and helped me feel more at peace. It also keeps me toned and lean without feeling too intense. The best part is that I can roll out my mat anywhere and do it. Pilates has been a simple, healing way to care for both my body and mind.

What Changed?

The rewards of choosing recovery every day were • My skin cleared up.

• My energy returned.

• I stopped bloating horribly.

• My body isn’t as inflamed.

• My weight doesn’t fluctuate as much.

• I could think clearly, show up for the people I cared about, and focus on building the life I really want for myself.

• Most importantly, I made peace with myself.

The Hard Truth

Recovery is not a magical fix. It’s uncomfortable, imperfect, and sometimes slow. But it’s also liberating. I belong to the group of people who have overcome this struggle, standing on the other side, excited every single day to wake up for my dream life. Every small change—every meal I enjoyed without guilt, every workout I did because it felt good, not because I “had to,” every decision to rest—brought me closer to the life I wanted.

If you’re tired of the cycle, start here: What’s one small, kind thing you can do for your body today? Begin with that. Your recovery doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to start.

At very least, I am grateful if I can provide at least one thing to experiment with.

-Vaishi